What a Difference

[image f: Elizabeth Salib]
{July 6 2009}
"What I needed to realize is that living itself can be an act of love. I don't want my life, so rather than ending it - I will give it away..
From now on, when I think of the world as a place I would rather not be in I must remember why that is. My daily existence feels like a routine of hurt and suffering, and I often blame the universe for creating a creature like me who has to live a life like this. Should I leave this world, I am forgetting the incredible hurt and suffering I would cause the people I care most about - and I will not do this to them. I will not pass my burden to the ones I love. I will take on this pain, I will meet it, and carry it - and live my life itself as a labor of love."
{two days ago}
"Tonight I am completely overcome with love and am humbled by the luck in my own life.
I feel like my heart was like a canyon, dammed by sadness. And now that it is gone water, love, is rushing into the spaces that were so empty - and I am completely awed by it's power.

I realize now that this love has been there all the time, I have always known how lucky I am. But, I am no longer partially numbed to these feelings by heartache and it is so incredible, I can't even explain it. I feel everything, and It is almost too much to bare, in the most beautiful way imaginable.
Today I still feel like I could die.
Like my heart might burst.
But this time: from happiness. from experience. from love."
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3 comments:

  1. This are so beautiful. I hope your ok darling xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. i really love ur blog, i can see my feelings in every word you write...

    ReplyDelete

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