Argentina : A Whole New World.

Going to another country is always a new experience, but my trip to Argentina in 3 days will be especially eye opening. I've never been outside the United States, except for the time I accidentally drove to Mexico. This happens to be easier than you think, considering I have the directional sense of a blind-mole and there are no customs-stops when crossing the border into Mexico. Seeing the "Beinvenidos a Mexico!" sign ranks as one of the most terrifying experiences of my life thanks to the cultural wisdom my Dad imparted on me before I moved to San Diego for college. According to him after one night in Tijuana it was not only possible, but almost certain, that I would find myself sold into sex-slavery.
"Samantha. If I ever find out you went to Tijuana you will be going to Lane County Community College faster than you can say 'adios'. People in Mexico steal little white girls like you and then sell them back to their parents, and they don't know that your parents can't pay a 200,000 dollar ransom like your other private school buddies. So I'll have to sell the house, because I love you, but you better believe it will be your fault when we live under a bridge.

And that's if they will even sell you back to us. Otherwise you'll be like Princess Leigha in that gold bikini serving a Mexican Drug Lord version of Jaba the Hut."

The combined threat of LCC (more or less identical to my high school, except it had ash-trays) and imminent sex-servitude, and homelessness kept me home on more than one occasion as my dorm mates took buses to Safari's foam parties; where everything that happened below the waist conveniently became invisible.

4 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh!! This post made me laugh... that is exactly what my dad has said to my sister and I. She graduated from San Diego State a year ago and I would always be right there listening to my dad lecture!! Dad's are the best!! Argentina... how exciting can't wait to hear about your trip, see photos etc!! xo

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  2. i like the reference to making love in this (foam party) club

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  3. not one did i participate in Tijuana or a foam party. However I did get close to going to the naughty school girl night. Thank god I declined.

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  4. oh my gosh, this cracked me up! It's pretty much exactly what my dad told me before I moved to San Diego. Enjoy your cultural experience!

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