Morrison, Thomspon and Kerouac | On Madness

Like watching a film and hitting pause, freezing a single frame and exclaiming "here!". There, there was the problem that I needed to fix. I could fix it, I would fix it. I would eliminate the erraticism that dots the course of my life with high low marks like a Richter scale.

But this part of me, the one that feels both happy and sad so deeply that balance eludes me, doesn't it contribute something? Doesn't it produce the deepest kind of understanding, the deepest kind of love? Depth of emotion is not something to be faulted for. It is the epicenter of my creativity and my compassion. It is the product of my introspection.

I wouldn't trade these things for a life of consistency. I would much rather live a life punctuated by low blacks and high whites than one of gray, at least for now. I have a lot of experiencing and a lot of feeling left to do in this lifetime, and I'm not going to limit myself in lieu of madness.

Maybe I just need someone who loves even the madness in me too.

like Jack Kerouac

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"

or Jim Morrison

"How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you."

or Hunter Thompson

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

I think I'm going to like being over the edge. The company is really amazing.