Le Update: Begin Again ( II )

Darling Readers,
Well, um ... yes. I've been gone. (again.) Usually the things that keep me away from 'unconventionally beautiful' are things that break my heart and make me incapable of writing any words with out hating even the look of them.

This time has been a little different. I just haven't known how to write here with out hurting others, how to express the way I've been feeling with out making it some kind of smug victory lap. But today I am coming back.

And I need you to know something.
These words aren't bitter, they aren't bragging. They aren't here to hurt anyone more than I already have and they aren't to prove something.

These words are here to document my life, a life that is fresh, new and changed.
To describe a world that is confusing, painful, and more fair and beautiful than i could have ever know.
To connect, to say to anyone who reads them 'yes. I do understand'
to reflect.
to remember.

because I ruined my life, which is fine because i was trying to figure out how to end it anyway.
And these words are here to create this new life and help shape it.
And they are here to invite you to be a part of it.
If you still want to be.

[image f: Carin Scatola]
* when i first saw this image a while ago i thought it was of someone falling out of a decorated tree - a kind of last ditch effort to hold on to happiness.
Now it looks like someone pulling themselves back up.

just one more way my world looks different lately.


  1. ♥ darling I hope you are ok, if you ever need to pour your heart out I am here for you :)

    & yes, I saw the last image as someone pulling themselves up!


  2. I will ALWAYS want to be a part of it. You are my soulmate. How could I stand to not be?


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