Over the weekend, I hung a set of coat hooks that I'd unscrewed from the wall in my Portland apartment. A silly thing to ship cross-country, really. They'd been laying in a cabinet since I got here, waiting for a free moment where I could tackle a second wave of projects after the move. When I saw them sitting there it reminded me of how they sat for so long - in the back of a drawer, waiting for my (then) boyfriend to hang them.
A line from Maya Angelou came to me: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." It's a life-lesson that I had always rejected.
Because I know love is a transformative thing. People will surprise you, and they will surprise themselves. Yes, of course, it happens! But I'm starting to learn that is the exception, not the rule. And everywhere there are people waiting for - or waiting to be - this kind of exception.
When I see them, I can only see myself; standing there, holding a set of coat hooks filled with a deep kind of disappointment that was completely disproportionate to the task itself. But it wasn't really about the hooks was it? It was about wanting to be right about him. More right than he was about himself.
And all I can think is Oh honey, if I could tell you just one thing. Stop waiting for someone to be anything other than who they told you they were. You'll be waiting for a long, long time. And, there's only hurt to be found in that kind of hoping.
It's better to just buy the drill and get out the tape measure. Love is about acceptance. And it's time to accept that you have to hang those damn hooks yourself.