on hope (and how).

first to change
"Where there's a will there's a way." It's one of those proverbs we grow up hearing; meant to teach us about determination. The resourceful, the MacGyvers of the world, achieve their dreams. Because when they're faced with a problem they make a plan. Step-by-step, they find a solution. 

Being resolute is surely a good thing. But what do you do when there isn't a solution? When the obstacles are too big or too unpredictable to make a to-do list. There is no agenda that accounts for chance meetings. No twelve-step program that can conquer geography.

In situations like that, I usually give up. Because if I can't find a way, there isn't a way. It's impossible. And if I hold on to hope, I'm going to be disappointed.

Just this week, my heart was a flutter with a dream. A big dream. A dream so big it couldn't be planned for ... and so, I'd let it go. I called my friend Jessi to cry about how hopeless I felt. "Dont' focus on how it will happen." she said "Just focus on allowing it to happen."

I didn't understand. What did she mean "allowing"? Things happen when you make them happen, don't they?

Well, no. Not exactly. I thought back to other dreams. Even when the outcome was exactly what I'd hoped for, the way it happened was different than how I'd planned. The obstacles that I had feared most in my future had usually moved by the time I got there. And sometimes there was another unplanned obstacle in its place. 

Plans make us think we're in control; if we just work hard enough and plan well enough we can't be let down. But, plans aren't how we avoid heartbreak. They're just how we avoid the fear. Even when we've written a step-by-step guide and every piece seems within our control. Things don't happen they way we think they will.

It's easy to accept this fact when our plans are undone. But it's so hard to remember it when what we want seems impossible. The world is an unpredictable place. Sometimes wonderfully, sometimes not. But which way isn't really the point. The point is, we don't know. We never know.

So keep your eyes open. Make room in your heart. Certain things can only come with time and patience, and there are fleeting moments where it is all so clear that this is it. This is how.

Allow it to happen. Allow yourself to hope.

(photo) on film | first leaves to change
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  1. Oh jeez I really needed to hear this. Thank you. :) Everything is so true.

  2. Oh my gosh...this is so what I needed to hear right now! We've been so busy making plans for changes we want to make but it hasn't seemed to move us anywhere. Maybe our eyes are closed to those fleeting moments......thank you.

    Go for that dream. XO

    1. Sarah, allowing things to happen (rather than making them happen) is the hardest in times of intense change! I remember that from my move. Here's to both of us keeping our eyes open!

  3. Tory tried to remind me of this every day. I'm so very bad at listening. Maybe I needed to hear it from another source. Love you, Sam.

    1. Sabrina, I need the reminder nearly everyday. We can remind each other - and Tory can remind us both - to keep our hearts open and hopeful.

  4. This is so beautifully written! I love that part: "But, plans aren't how we avoid heartbreak. They're just how we avoid the fear."

  5. lovely, and so well-written. just what i needed to read at this very moment! :)

    1. Shoko, that means so much coming from you - I'm a big fan of all your writing, and especially Moving Forward on Equals!

  6. You write so beautifully. There's magic in your words!

    +To Me It Matters+

  7. you are so wise! love this love you and love the new design!


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