on hope (and how).

"Where there's a will there's a way." It's one of those proverbs we grow up hearing; meant to teach us about determination. The resourceful, the MacGyvers of the world, achieve their dreams. Because when they're faced with a problem they make a plan. Step-by-step, they find a solution. 

Being resolute is surely a good thing. But what do you do when there isn't a solution? When the obstacles are too big or too unpredictable to make a to-do list. There is no agenda that accounts for chance meetings. No twelve-step program that can conquer geography.

In situations like that, I usually give up. Because if I can't find a way, there isn't a way. It's impossible. And if I hold on to hope, I'm going to be disappointed.

Just this week, my heart was a flutter with a dream. A big dream. A dream so big it couldn't be planned for ... and so, I'd let it go. I called my friend Jessi to cry about how hopeless I felt. "Dont' focus on how it will happen." she said "Just focus on allowing it to happen."

I didn't understand. What did she mean "allowing"? Things happen when you make them happen, don't they?

Well, no. Not exactly. I thought back to other dreams. Even when the outcome was exactly what I'd hoped for, the way it happened was different than how I'd planned. The obstacles that I had feared most in my future had usually moved by the time I got there. And sometimes there was another unplanned obstacle in its place. 

Plans make us think we're in control; if we just work hard enough and plan well enough we can't be let down. But, plans aren't how we avoid heartbreak. They're just how we avoid the fear. Even when we've written a step-by-step guide and every piece seems within our control. Things don't happen they way we think they will.

It's easy to accept this fact when our plans are undone. But it's so hard to remember it when what we want seems impossible. The world is an unpredictable place. Sometimes wonderfully, sometimes not. But which way isn't really the point. The point is, we don't know. We never know.

So keep your eyes open. Make room in your heart. Certain things can only come with time and patience, and there are fleeting moments where it is all so clear that this is it. This is how.

Allow it to happen. Allow yourself to hope.

(photo) on film | first leaves to change