The band She & Him once said/sang "Old habits die hard when you've got a sentimental heart". In my case they are talking about the habit of hoarding. As the possessor of a sentimental heart myself, I have vast collection priceless pieces of paper. Enough, infact, to fill one box for every year of my life since I was 13. All the birthday cards I've ever received (not joking), movie stubs, reciepts; all of it's in there somewhere
Much like my memory, nothing in storage can be thrown away. From love letters to heart broken journal entries, all of these things are part of the reality I now experience. Though most are small and nonconsequential they go on living in the corners of my mind and my closet.
I think that's why I hold onto people too, long after the shelf life of ink and interactions have expired. They can change, they can be better. Loving someone means accepting them for who they are - and sometimes that person isn't always evident in a world that brings out the worst in us. So I'll save you, scrapbook you, in the hopes that one day I can look at our relationship in the same way I look at old notes from highschool: once real and full of pain, and now a lesson that I love regardless.
People, like the memories they leave us, aren't disposable. Disappointing, yes, but disposable? not to me.
Much like my memory, nothing in storage can be thrown away. From love letters to heart broken journal entries, all of these things are part of the reality I now experience. Though most are small and nonconsequential they go on living in the corners of my mind and my closet.
I think that's why I hold onto people too, long after the shelf life of ink and interactions have expired. They can change, they can be better. Loving someone means accepting them for who they are - and sometimes that person isn't always evident in a world that brings out the worst in us. So I'll save you, scrapbook you, in the hopes that one day I can look at our relationship in the same way I look at old notes from highschool: once real and full of pain, and now a lesson that I love regardless.
People, like the memories they leave us, aren't disposable. Disappointing, yes, but disposable? not to me.
me too sam shorey :) this makes me want to send you letters because i have so many saved that you sent me!
ReplyDeleteI don't often comment, but there was something about this post that caught my eye. I am also a keeper of boxes, I have a big box with lots of smaller boxes in it. I have come to find that the priceless pieces of paper often make the memory of disappointment dwindle into fond contentment of the soul.
ReplyDeleteAs always I have enjoyed reading your post even if this is my first time commenting on it.