For me, the start of October marked the start of PhD application season. The last few weeks have been both exciting and terrifying. It's scary to want something, especially something like this. Most of the programs I'm applying to are very (very. very.) competitive - accepting about six students a year out of two hundred applicants.
My friend Lisbet has a mantra that she uses when things get intense at the end of the semester or at the end of a relationship. She says you've gotta burn for it. You have to want something bad enough for it to be hard.
I've been putting on this Big Sean song every time I feel overwhelmed. It reminds me of all the work - all the burn - it's taken me to get this far and all the work it's going to take to get me into one of those dream schools. But when it gets hard, I'm just going to burn harder. Tell 'em that I need more fire.
weekend reading | The Ones Who Burn For It
- I accidentally saw a picture of you.
- This is how I feel looking at grad programs sometimes: “My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.” - Maria Semple, Where'd You Go Bernadette?
- a place for sadness.
- "I've made a life out of 'I didn't love her, but damn if she wasn't cool about the whole thing.'" Meg Fee
(listen) Big Sean - Fire. The radio edit, which is about half as long, makes this song sound pretty mediocre. It has none of the build, ya know? Go for the four minute version and enjoy that tambourine. (photo) on film with Pentax k1000