what comes next?

This is my first summer in Massachusetts. Last year, I left on the 1st of June. The leaving really hit me one day on the sidewalk, in front of my favorite neighborhood garden. The perfectly round peony buds were showing a little more pink each time I passed them. Loosening, day after day.  

... but then it was back to Portland, when everything was just about to really begin. Tyler sent me that bottom picture, of the blossoming peonies that I'd be watching so expectantly. 

This season here has been a quiet one for me - a daily routine of writing and working. Around 10:30 everyday I walk into my bedroom and turn on the tiny air conditioner that I jankily installed in my window (a pair of old leggings are tucked into the window frame for a little insulation.) I open the document marked "thesis" and I spend a few hours typing and deleting. Usually I only have a few new paragraphs in front of me by the time I stand up at 3:00.

Then I venture out into the damp damp heat. The underside of my hair never seems to dry. And between 5:00 and 10:00pm you can find me hostessing on a brewery patio - either handling a waitlist or restlessly rolling silverware. 

The real excitement has been watching the peonies open, and then become heavy with their own weight. I've seen them each day on my way to work. Right now they're mostly wilted and the petals are smeared on the sidewalk.  

Now what? 

It's that question that keeps me present. It keeps me looking.

lily's wedding.

raise your hand if you want to see some pics from my sister's wedding?! well, these are the only ones I took because I was mostly busy painting emergency wooden directional signs after another set of signs appeared on the same country road for farm wedding in the opposite direction. luckily there's never any shortage of cameras at a wedding, so stay tuned for a few more this week! 

The big day was full of blessings (no rain! no mosquitos!) but the biggest might have been that I managed not to get neon pink tempra paint on my bridesmaid dress. 

(photos) 1 and 3 on film with Pentax K1000, other's are iphone + vsco. 

gatherings | Post-Registry Dinner Party

A few weekends after Tessa and Andy got back from their honeymoon, Tessa threw a dinner party so we could play with  enjoy all the wedding gifts she'd received off her registry. Isn't that such a great idea? I'm a big believer in "taking out the good china" for more than just thanksgiving! She fully set the table with her new stoneware plates and rosegold flatware.  And she got to use all those kitchen gadgets that seem kind of nonsensical at the time (a salad spinner? herb scissors?) but are actually pret-ty handy.

Registries might be the best part about getting married (besides love!) It's hard being a young couple, especially when you love to entertain like Tessa and Andy. We've thrown a lot of parties together (see: here and here) and even though they've always been amazing we never fail to run into a few young-people problems. You know .... like there aren't enough serving dishes, so things go on the table in the pots they were cooked in. Or, you only have one riedel pinot noir glass because your roommates broke the other five.

There's something really wonderful about sitting at a grown-up table, having not-so-grown-up dinner conversation. It's one of those magical in-between parts about being in your late-twenties. Cheers to that!



(photos) on film Pentax K1000, except for the last which is iPhone | Tessa's backyard, Portland OR

lavender picking.

In case you couldn't tell from the wall-to-wall wedding posting, this summer was a whirlwind! Just about every free day was spent doing something wedding oriented: gold foiling, flower arranging, and six separate trips to the art supply store.

These photos are from the afternoon we drove out to Sauvie Island to cut lavender for Lily's center pieces. It was a week day, so the farm was closed. We paid on the honor system by stuffing twenties into a wooden bird house. It felt like we were the only people for miles and the fields were quiet except for the bees.

I've shed a few tears this September thinking back on the summer and everything that happened with out me really getting to enjoy it.  There was so much to do and it all felt so important and I was so worried about missing something and letting everyone down.  So, these pictures are extra special to me. Neither of us look too glamorous, since we're both dressed to run errands. Top knots, cotton t-shirts, and tote bags.  But, this day felt like how I thought it would feel. Just me and my sister getting ready for her wedding. Just happy.

(photos) on film, taken by my boyfriend Tyler | Sauvie Island Lavender Farm just outside of Portland.
(p.s.) lavender picking for my birthday last year. 

gatherings | Sabrina's Sauvie Island Bachelorette

At Sabrina's bachelorette party, one of the girls brought along The Book of Questions: Love and Sex. And, let me just say there is something special about a group of ladies who unanimously agreed they'd rather have 6 months of free time than 6 months of spending every single second with their partner (as her friend Katrina put it:  "I've got sh*t to do!"). Sabrina has this whole "birds of a feather" thing figured out, and was ushered into married life by a group of independent women, most of whom are in committed relationships. Lots of wise words and jello-shots were shared!

I wish I could say that my friendship with Sabrina started when we met in college and realized our mutual love of feminist theory, contemporary poetry, and our Oregon roots. But, no ... that came later. Really, I have to thank a drink special at The Beachcomber for bringing us together. Pocketing a set of glowing ice cubes is not my proudest moment. But I am thankful all the same.

(photos) on film with Pentax K1000 | Sauvie Island's Reeder Beach

loud & clear | This Actually Happened

This year, my birthday serendipitously fell a few days before the Postal Service played in Portland for their ten year anniversary tour. Their only album was important to both Tyler and I in our teenage years, so we figured we go and see and sing along - if just for nostalgias sake. 

I wrote about the show (and about summers and memory) over in my column for The Equals Record

"There’s something about this season that makes the people and places linger in our memories with all the shadowy contract of a sun high over-head. They become inky outlines in our mind, of short-lived loves and seasonal friendships that occupy a disproportionate share of my memory. 

Over the balcony, a thousand heads glowed below me, and I wondered what they remembered."

 You can read the full essay here!

When we got home that evening after the show, we noticed Tyler had forgotten his keys. We checked the door handle and quickly realized we were locked out of the house.  

To the left of the front door was a wide bay window, particular to the type of part-victorian/part-craftsman house common in North Portland. So I pressed my hands flat against the glass and pushed up the lower sash of the window. We climbed through the hip-level opening, legs first and into the living room. 

Now, I'm not particularly clever when it comes to McGiver situations (though I do regularly forget my keys. More than once, my solution has been sleeping on patio until my roommate comes home). Opening that window wasn't an attempt, it was a kind of muscle memory - something tried and true that I knew.  I'd done that trick a dozen times. I hadn't thought of it for years.  It was a relic of myself at twenty-two; standing on the stoop of my first house in Portland.

By the end of the summer, I'd moved out of that house. And, I buried the memory of it along with the mistakes I made when I moved to a new city with old friends.  After that, Portland became something different all together. It became the place I now think of as home.

But, climbing through that window made me think about summers and about the past. And about the the way they quietly hide inside us; waiting to be shaken loose by a locked door or a song. 

(photos) on film with Leica CL | summer scenes in Northampton

two for | Last Light of Summer

"In the flicker of lights near the city's edge
We talk easily, gather within
All that the summer has given: "

Thom Tammaro,  Closing the Cabin

(photos) on film with pentax k1000 | Detroit Lake, Oregon

dahlia fields forever.

When I was uploading these photos I kept thinking of the Beatles song "Strawberry Fields Forever". I've always thought of it like forever, the distance. Strawberry Fields for miles and miles until you can't see over the horizon. But maybe it was more like forever, the time. Strawberry Fields existing continuously. A never ending season. 

In either case, I'd like dahlia fields forever.  I'm still holding onto a lot of things, summer being one of them. 

(photos) on film with pentax k1000 | Sauvie Island. more on Flickr (p.s.) lavender fields forever

show + tell | Latter Lattice

using an old step-ladder as a trellis for peas in the garden. Genius, right? 

(photos) on film with Leica CL | Tessa's garden (p.s.) remembering 9/11 today. 

two for | August in Coral

two reasons I wait all year for summer :

1. seeing outdoor movies : A League of Their Own at "flicks on the bricks" in Pioneer Square
2. eating tomatoes fresh out of the garden

(p.s.) on the August Blog Break. here's : in green | golden 

two for | August in Gold

gold is the color that reminds me most of summer - crispy lawns and the last light of the day. Before my move East, I spent nearly a week in my hometown of Eugene, Oregon. I had a few quiet evenings sitting in the backyard with my Dad, ordering from my favorite local joints (big fan of Burrito Boy!), and was lucky to spend a day with my friend/fellow camera girl, Cassy. 

three for | August in Green

So, it's the last week of August, huh? I can't decide if it feels like this month went fast ... or if it feels like I've lived five months in thirty days time. It was a doozy: Portland - San Francisco - Napa - San Francisco - Portland - Eugene - Portland - New Jersey - Northampton. When I finally unpacked my suitcase yesterday (which may or may not have weighed 68lbs when I checked it for my flight out East) I nearly cried from joy.  

So, while I get settled I'm going to do the last week of the August Blog Break. Just a simple photo post everyday to show you a few of the things I've seen this month. It will be sorted by color - because that's how I'm organizing my closet. and my bookshelf. and my egg crate (okay, everything.)   

two for | City Summers

where summer can be found in the city :

lawn chairs in driveways.

twenty minutes outside of town.

music up, windows down.
"turn it up louder!"

gas stations, standing dazed with the cooler door open.

river trips on heatwave weekdays.

asleep on top of the covers.

It's my last day in Portland before the move. 

Tomorrow there will be tears, but today there will be summer. 

(photos) 120 b+w ilford film with diana-cam

gatherings | Lily's Birthday (and big proposal!)

On Friday morning, Lily's boyfriend called me at work. The conversation started with small talk, thought I had a feeling he wanted to talk about something substantial. And he did. He was asking to marry my sister. After a lot of squealy excitement (mostly on my part, but not entirely), he let me in on the plan to propose the next day at her Birthday Boat Bash. Which worked out perfectly, since the hoopla of her birthday would hide every hint that something even bigger was about to happen ... and I only had to keep the grin off my face for a few-hour car ride. My part in the big plan was to make sure Lily left for the lake before 9:00 ... no easy feat, since the Shoreys can be a little slow moving in the morning and she would be spending the night in the nearby town after a wedding. 

But the next day, I caught the bus under a highway overpass (where I watched a bum wake up - gooood morning), commuted to Clackamas, bought bagels and coffee and was ready to go by nine am! on a Saturday!

To get some alone time - proposing isn't a three person activity - AJ told Lily he had planned a "birthday" hike for them and that I could stay to decorate. I asked myself : how would I feel if Lily was actually skipping out on setting up for the party to go on a hike. answer : annoyance, thinly masked with enthusiasm. Luckily, years of passive aggressive behavior primed me for the roll of a lifetime - I nailed it, and Lily was none the wiser.

By the time they got back the decorations were done, making the whole day feel like magic for her. She was so excited she got a bloody nose.

My other pictures from the day were a blurry blownout mess, but the proposal was captured on a Go-Pro. The recording survived for three whole hours before it was accidentally dropped in the lake when her new fiance dove off a bridge in a burst of enthusiasm/manliness.

So, the rest of the day will have to live on in memory. and it will.

(photos) on film with Pentax k1000 

two for | Red, White + Blue

Film photography makes my life a twilight zone of timing. For example ... the photos I posted on the 4th? actually from last year.  But, I liked these too much to sit on them for another 354 days so I thought we'd have a little redo.

Luckily, my sister and I dress in navy blue every other day of the year so it's pretty much like the Forth of July all the time. Except we're not at the lake. I'm working in an office with no windoww torturing myself with photos of the lake. and I didn't get to eat a hot dog for lunch. and I'm wearing a bra (ughhh.) instead of a bathing suit. So, not like the Forth of July at all.

(photos) on film with Pentax k1000

two for | Summer in Pink

I chose my purpose: it's to
unfold, pink
heart of petals of tissue

 it's summer colour week at Poppytalk. I'll be writing a little three line poem and sharing a picture for each day. Today is pink. Yesterday was yellow. The day before was green. join us on Flickr!

(photos) first on film with Pentax k1000 | second with my iPhone. woah. 

summer colour week: Green

summer is as green (and gray)
as winter.
the ratio just changes. 

 it's summer colour week at Poppytalk. I'll be writing a little three line poem and sharing a picture for each day. Today is green! These are actually left over from April - the trees have a few more leaves now but the weather is the same 

(photos) on film with Nikon FM